i have to go to the bathroom

two words you'll never hear in the english language in a normal conversation:

squatty potty

let's all take a moment to reflect.




are we done? good.
a well raised southern lady does not discuss bodily functions. you had better say excuse me if you burp, and god forbid you should pass gas. in china there are no holds barred on any of it. burp where you want, and pretty much anything else. there is a concept here of a squatty potty. unless i am camping i feel there is no need to squat, but in china a lady is expected to do just that. in whatever she has on. a nice dress, jeans, shorts, whatever. and usually there is no toliet paper. so far the disgustingness of it is winning. all public restrooms are this way. hotels have real toliets though, thank the good lord. and the skill of a squatty is something most chinese women master. we, americans, not so much. i am not saying i have a problem, because i have camped a lot, but some of my co-workers are at a complete loss of how to master the skill. now i understand why some urinals are a challenge for men. and why sometimes after an asian person uses the restroom, there are footprints on the seat. i hate the squatty potty. it is an evil invention. and they never flush right. who is in charge over here? and why haven't theymoved into the modern century. i am just sayin'

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