moving...

i got evicted.

yup, i wrote that. i fucking got evicted. the whole complex is being torn down for student housing. it makes me want to scream. and cry(which i have done almost everyday). the thought of moving after 12 years is so overwhelming and crazy. i am sitting on my couch for the last night here. and of course, tears are streaming down my face. the new apartment is much smaller. and a basement apartment. i keep thinking of all the "last" things... my last shower, the last time the train blows by, the last night sleeping in the same room for 12 years.

and you know what is super stupid? i travel for a living. for 15 years. new places all the time. but do i want to actually move my household? hell no. i can also pack a 53' truck without batting an eyelash, but packing a box of my stuff? i am incapable. i had to have someone come over to pack my kitchen, because i didn't know how. so i am a crying mess, and incapable of packing. holy jeebus.